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05-Feb-2021 20:16

My best friend has been single for the past six months, after being in a relationship for five years.

I’ve watched her go through all of the phases I went through when I was freshly out of a long-term relationship: thinking about dating; dating; embarking on a dating freeze; swearing off dating forever, with and without a solemn oath; and trying on every state in between.

Of course, once I met someone stellar, I stopped with the two-timing and focused my energy on one wonderful man.

As an aside, in this day and age, dating two (or more) people at once is not considered duplicitous or “two-timing.” Until you have The Exclusivity Talk, you’re free to gad about, dating whomever in whatever quantity you desire.

Despite knowing I should play the field more, I haven't been able to bring myself to do it. I could tell I liked her because I got into a good mood whenever she texted/talked to me.

While I was hanging out with Pam, I went to a party and met a friend of a friend named Nicole.

This is the unwritten rule of dating in the modern age.

In light of all this, I asked psychologist Irene Levine, clinical professor of psychiatry at New York University Langone School of Medicine, to demystify the allure of dating multiple people simultaneously, once and for all.

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You may be a one-woman or one-man kind of gal, and that is totally OK.I had to ask Levine about this, because I see it time and again in my friends, and though I’ve never been guilty of it—when I fall, I fall hard—it’s definitely a modern phenomenon.If this is the case for you, Levine does not mince her words.Since you’re not relying on one person to fulfill all of your dating needs, Levine points out you’re more likely to be “satisfied” or at least “complacent with less than perfect individuals, each of whom provides something positive or worthwhile.” Plus, you won’t be wishing that anyone would be someone they’re not, because you’ll be more relaxed and “less likely to be demanding of any one relationship, even in terms of the other person’s fidelity,” she says.

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So if you have a date with Mark on Tuesday and Julia on Friday, and it comes out that they are also seeing others, NBD.

Women are planners, and those who think ahead enjoy backup plans.