Dating older guys teenagers
Recently a client of mine who is 17, started dating a 23 year old man, and while the age difference isn’t drastic, one has to think, what would a 23 year old man who could date anyone 18 and up, want with a 17 year old high school student? Of course they had a lot of that, often unprotected, but luckily she never got pregnant although she hasn’t gotten tested for any sexually transmitted diseases.
I told her when she initially talked about him pursuing her, his reason was that there aren’t any girls 21 and up that were “cool”, that there just wasn’t something right about a man who should be on the verge of finishing college, dating someone who’s in high school.
If they were good, she was happy, going to class, doing good.
If he was ignoring her, she was depressed, missing class, consumed with anxiety.
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Having an older boyfriend also becomes a status symbol, a way for the teenage girl to say that she is already grown-up and part of the adult world. Because of this, it may make it easier for her to start neglecting things like her peers and school work.
After all, why should she worry about passing a chemistry test when her boyfriend is worried about paying his rent or losing his job.
I hate when I am working with a teenage girl and she tells me she is dating an older man, usually because I know that this relationship, while to her may be idyllic and dreamy, is more often a disaster waiting to happen on so many levels.
The thing is, teenager girls often don’t realize just how unequal the relationship with an older man usually is.