Make dating smooth sailing
Coulston, because “your priorities have changed with age, and you are not hung-up about finding the perfect parent of your children to-be.” Instead of trying to forecast how a potential partner will look or act years down the line, you can simply focus on how they make you feel now—a much less difficult question to answer.While personality is typically a factor in relationship satisfaction at any age, after 40, it starts to take serious precedence over your potential partner’s appearance. Coulston, you often gain the “knowledge that being ‘hot’ is more a function of someone’s personality rather than their actual exterior.” This means it’s much less likely that you’ll find yourself realizing you’ve wasted time sticking with an incompatible partner simply due to their appearance, as may have been the case a decade or two earlier.“After 40, there is a sense of being settled into life, established in a career, with good income, and a stable home,” says Katie Ziskind, licensed family therapist and owner of Wisdom Within Counseling, With these pieces in place, she explains, a person is able to “put more energy into dating,” making it more rewarding for both parties involved.For many people dating over 40, those questions about if and when kids will come along simply don’t come up.
One of the trickiest parts of dating is dealing with the baggage that you and your partner bring into the relationship from the get-go. While you may have more past experiences that affect how you tackle a relationship after 40, you also know how to keep those memories and scars from standing in the way of your future happiness.Carissa Coulston, a clinical psychologist and author of The Eternity Rose blog, “is that some of the insecurities you may have had in your 20s are hopefully long gone.” At the very least, she says “you are more familiar with them.” Instead of letting that negative voice in your head get in the way of making a connection with someone, you can be yourself from the get-go.By the time you hit 40, not only does your bank account likely make it possible to put those dates where cheap beer was a splurge behind you, you also have more discerning tastes than you did as a young adult.When someone is dumped by their first girlfriend or boyfriend, it can feel like the end of the world.
This feeling generally persists until, with age and experience, daters gain a bit more perspective about the nature of relationships in general.While it may seem like there are fewer singles to choose from at forty, the likelihood you’ll meet someone who shares a similar vision for the future is higher.