Signs that your dating
Casual dating So, are you still in the non-exclusive stage of casual dating where hearts are fluttering with affection, but nothing’s too sure just yet? This doesn’t mean you’re in a relationship; it means you’re both helping each other with sexual frustration.
If there was more to it—something serious—there would have been a discussion.
Whether it's a gleaming rags-to-riches tale of their continual triumph over lesser challengers, or a Byronic struggle with their own brilliance and difficulties, you're always a side player.
It's a phenomenon called narcissistic supply, which makes narcissists seek excitement and drama to give them access to admiration, adoration, and notoriety. Any time you say "no" or set up a boundary on their behavior, it's just a red rag to a bull: they hate being told what to do. This can lead to some hilariously House Of Cards problems where they're trying to manipulate everybody behind the scenes (narcissists are also terrible gossips).
We still don't know where narcissism comes from: some psychologists link it to borderline personality disorder, others believe it conceals a serious lack of self-esteem (something self-aware narcissists themselves dispute), and still others have linked it with neglect as children.
The newest study thinks kids who are over-praised but under-loved as kids are most likely to become narcissists — but we're still essentially groping in the dark.
This is the really terrible bit about narcissists, and one I learned to my cost — they literally cannot care about your feelings. Whether it's through domination, aggressive opinions, or just talking all the time, you'll find it hard to get a word in edgeways — and even if the topic's about you, it's likely the bits of you that make them look better for dating you.
Other people, in the narcissistic universe, exist purely to serve their own grandiose self-image; it's difficult for them to understand that feelings exist, or to care if any have been hurt. You're a trophy, which can be very nice for your self-esteem, but pales after a while.
For example, my ex made me eat Mc Donalds for the first time. To a narcissist's mind, it's impossible to have met them and not formed a strong opinion about them — generally adoration.
Even if it doesn’t pan out, there was a level of seriousness there that reflected commitment—more so than casual dating ever provides.