Speed dating at amuse bouche


03-May-2020 14:34

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Ah, but away from cozy confines of the federal government, the Marmalade Shartcannon is as powerless to obstruct as he is to wrap his tiny, inadequate, fingers around a baseball.

Word is, Deutsche Bank has begun complying with a subpoena from New York's Attorney General, though in the interest of good taste they're likely to withhold the racy pics of Ivanka he keeps in that safe deposit box.

Congratulations to the future residents of Dickless Indicted Shitweasel Park, I guess.

Today we learned precisely how much North Korea fears and respects the Dopey Dotard with Diminutive Digits; they actually presented him with a million hospital bill when they returned then-comatose hostage Otto Warmbier to American custody in 2017.

Anybody else worried that one of these days, while our commander in chief is busy obsessively refreshing his phone, whinging about the Deep State conspiracy to prevent his latest nickname for Amy Klobuchar from getting more likes, Justin Trudeau is gonna order covert ops teams to sneak across the border to seize Washington before anybody knows what's going on? The longest-serving Republican in the Iowa state legislature, Andy Mc Kean, decided he no longer wanted to play for a team captained by a pussy-grabbing, daughter-lusting, justice-obstructing, steak-ruining, sack of monkey shit, and switched parties! If anyone else from Club Donkey finds a little love of country in that trunk in the attic, next to your football pads and your prom corsage, there's always plenty of room aboard the Good Ship Decency.

Sticking with Iowa for a moment, Steve King compared himself to Jesus, that was something. You know, the Velveeta Vulgarian is a chronically mediocre man, who habitually exaggerates, or even outright fabricates accomplishments, and that's pathetic, but even I have to admit he's achieved something truly spectacular here.

They'd never have dreamed of treating Obama that way, and if they pulled that shit on Hillary Clinton, Kim Jong-un would still be picking pieces of that bill out of his stool.

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Well, Shart Garfunkel is so eager to have all the Totally Exonerating details of the Mueller Report repeated in open congressional hearings that he's doing everything short of duct-taping Don Mc Gahn to the bathroom wall to keep witnesses from testifying.Somewhere between thumbs and the internet, evolution took a wrong turn at Albuquerque.Luckily, there will NOT be an outbreak of Milo Yadon'tgotnoincomenomo in Oklahoma, where his latest attempt to monetize his hateful trolling has fallen apart.Sure thing Jeff, just as soon as you move on from Reconstruction.

And Benjamin Netanyahu wants to name some settlements in the Golan Heights after his white nationalist buddy.

Total Exonerations are just better when there's a little mystery to em, don'tcha think?



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