Too many dating choices
The more criteria and qualities you consider for a partner, the tougher it can be to narrow down your choices.
In fact, according to a 2006 Pew study of online dating, people generally use Internet sites because they believe that having lots of choices will result in a better match.
This is an oldie but goodie in digital disguise: That there’s someone out there better than us.
That the same compulsion that causes a man to click through channel after channel without watching anything, is the same one that will cause him to pass us by.
If online dating hasn’t led you to your perfect match, perhaps the issue isn’t that you’re too choosy, but rather that there’s too much choice.
There’s no doubt that dating in the 21st century offers a lot of opportunities.
In the long run, this can lead to decision-making paralysis.
And in a culture that tells us that there is no excuse for falling short of perfection when your options are limitless, too much choice can lead to clinical depression.” The problem could be our quest for perfection.
There’s evidence that even non-Web-based dating services can suffer from the challenge of choice: A study of people attending speed-dating events, published in the August 2011 issue of Biology Letters, found that they made fewer decisions to date when they attended events with higher numbers of candidates and greater variety.
A 20ish woman was telling me some of her dating woes–and theories. She had been doing some dating on OKCupid, and had come to the conclusion that the problem with online dating was that “there were too many people on there.” What do you mean too many people? But saying there are too many people on there is like saying you can’t buy a book because there are way too many titles being offered.
I mean, I could see if you were trying to date in the online stone age when there weren’t ENOUGH people doing it and the digital pickins were slim. Why limit this argument to OKCupid, or Match, or any dating site for that matter?
After all, if someone can keep up the virtual hunt, and click through thousands of profiles, why would someone choose her, she wonders.
These fears work against your efforts to meet, connect with, and date new people. Think about your parents’ generation: They grew up with no Internet, they likely stayed in the same town for most of their lives, and they automatically had more in common with the people in that town as a result.